What struck me most wasn't the book's content but when it was published: 1936.

Nearly 100 years ago, someone had already written such wise, well-rounded principles for dealing with people into a book. Yet I had to stumble through society for twenty or thirty years before opening it and realizing the mistakes I'd made at work and with people. It's a bit of a pity I didn't stand on the shoulders of this giant sooner.

The whole book is threaded through with the human desire to “feel important,” from which come three cornerstones: don't criticize; praise and appreciate; arouse an eager want in others. These are truly useful techniques. Its point about “avoiding arguments” also lines up perfectly with The Next Conversation.

I think what I'll start changing today is practicing smiling! The benefits of a smiling habit really are priceless :)

As for structure, the author divides the chapters into “making people like you,” “how to win people to your way of thinking,” and “how to change people without giving offense.” Perhaps because this arrangement isn't very MECE, I was honestly confused by the logic at first. Ideas like “let the other person do the talking” come up 3 times; “winning people to your way of thinking” and “changing people” are basically the same thing, and the prerequisite for both is “making people like you.”

So I reorganized it around the author's “three cornerstones”: the most fundamental desire is “to feel important” → which extends into three cornerstones, “don't criticize,” “praise and appreciate,” and “arouse an eager want in others” → then I broke apart all the book's techniques and sorted them under these three cornerstones. I'm guessing this is easier to follow.

Of course, everyone understands things differently, and maybe I'm just gilding the lily XD I'd encourage everyone to read the original too—I think it's worth an afternoon. You may see it differently from me; come discuss it with me on IG!